Showing posts with label ember. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ember. Show all posts

Saturday, May 25, 2013

42 Degrees of Fire: The Eternal Embers



 
http://www.people.vcu.edu/~chenry/images/fig2.jpg

art  

/ärt/
Noun
  1. The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture,...: "the art of the Renaissance"
  2. Works produced by such skill and imagination.                           ( Google.com)


The question: does a muse ever truly disappear from the inspired?  Why can we not view our relationships as art?  How long does it take to mix the colors and find the right hues for a masterpiece, a rare mysterious arrangement of colors that is completely original.?   I write so many ideas down to examine how I feel, what I think and maybe how I project my own imagination onto a canvas.  Yet how did I get that imagination to come forth? I needed a mirror.  My friend, the Jypsy, was that mirror for a short time.  I created something from nothing.  I was intensely aware of his nature for a short time or was it really my nature?   

The attention of the other provokes something within us, especially if it is directed with good intentions.  I think underneath all of our fears and past experiences dwells our souls with an intense longing to express itself.  The soul is a hidden charmed intelligence that bears all, yet is so unknown to our everyday lives.  Sometimes it is hard to figure out what comes from our souls and what comes from the external expectations. 

I feel most aligned when I am inspired and I feel it is a gift when someone comes along and provokes my imagination.  When I think of 42 degrees I  think of a sphere.  If our paths are not really linear, then this might work.  I feel I have entered a new circular path, a sort of spiraling.  When I think of the entire meeting and how it seemed as if we stepped into a sphere that was already there pulsing with its own energy.  We were the creators.  The nature of everything was good like we were traveling on a particular pattern of energy.  I hope I am not so naive to think he was true.  The strange thing is that it really doesn't matter.  The only thing I can be sure of is my experience of it.  

  Before this path was born, I was in a long relationship and for 12 years I devoted myself to this commitment.  This was one complete circle, one sphere.  A 360 degrees of burning and it moved out in all directions to fill up the volume of that circle.  It might have burned too many things down. As I start my new spiraling path, the old one wants to merge into it. Maybe spheres overlap.  I have reached 42 degrees on my new path, and these are a different kind of burning. If you can picture a circle and that I traveled 42 degrees around, but I did not stay only on the line...I went inside the sphere, exploring the depths of that energy and nature.  The sphere is ultimately myself and or the other.  I am not sure how it works exactly, but that world is complex and dynamic.  You cannot stand on the edge and look into a world.  You must dive and or sail through the entire adventure. I explored islands, tempests and monsters all along the way.  In the evolution of this journey is where the sailor and I merge and poetry- art is born. 

So when these 42 degrees began, degree by degree my imagination and inspiration took flight.  While I allowed my nature to rise again like a phoenix, I began to know myself again.  I was provoked by a male and or I projected things outward.  I needed him exactly at this precise time on my path to shift, to remember, to see myself through a mirror.  I had to listen and do the work.  He was a reflection and a gift. 

 I don't believe in accidents.  The charm of this union was especially pure at the start.  The ending maybe not so much, but the fires sometimes die out and we push beyond what is right-Buddha right.  Buddha right- is not a moral right, but a spirit right.  It is one hard to master because of our external influences. 

I believe that life is so much more than what appears in front of us.  This meeting however brief or long, was a mystery as is each encounter.  I could dwell on its fading or ending but it is not creative to do that.  I have many musings about it on this blog and I am glad of this.  If we could live by inspiration, imagination, creative endeavors, being each others muse maybe our relationships would be different. We could release them easier.  I am not even saying that I want it to return because it is not the truth.  If the intention is pure all will burn bright and true.  

The mysterious igniting and chemistry that brings two people together is like art.  If the timing and approach is right as in a Buddha's right action, then the world that is born from two souls can transform, heal and take on different shapes.   What I mean by shapes is that we have this one prevailing idea about souls meeting, especially romantically.  This one procreation-ideology might need to shift to allow for a more spiritual idea, thus more shapes. Maybe more of an artistic idea.  I hope my expressions here captures just a couple of degrees of my experience in the last 7 months.  

When I write poetry it feels like I keep an ember burning for those that touch me somehow.  Some of my greatest loves like my father, who has passed on,  inspired me so even when I felt lost.  Some part of me still burns brightly like a pulse with a certain rhythm formed from that one love.  A poet's heart is hard to stop especially when a kindred spirit holds up a mirror. The embers burn eternally in a poet's heart, sometimes foolishly, but always deeply. 


Peter Gabriel- I Love to be Loved

Saturday, January 19, 2013

22 Degress of Fire: A Quiet Ember


http://lh3.ggpht.com/-V3ubQqmv0XM/SAJzJTxffYI/AAAAAAAABAc/QvBAdZjaWXE/TFD_1208.jpg

22  of 42 out at sea.  In the Far East...

 

 APL Philippines

Vessel's Details

Ship Type: Container ship
Year Built: 1996
Length x Breadth: 276 m X 40 m
Gross Tonnage: 64502, DeadWeight: 65642 t
Speed recorded (Max / Average): 13.7 / 10.9 knots
Flag: USA [US] 
Call Sign: WCX8884
IMO: 9077276, MMSI: 368684000

Last Position Received

Area: China Sea East
Latitude / Longitude: 31.3125° / 121.7453° (Map)
Speed/Course 28.7 knots / 0˚
Currently in Port: SHANGHAI
Info Received: 0d 0h 2min ago (AIS Source: 830)
 Current Vessel's Track
Wind: 17 knots, 142°, 8°C
Itineraries History

Voyage Related Info (Last Received)

Draught: 10 m
Destination: CN SHA CJK
ETA: 2013-01-20 00:30
Info Received: 2013-01-19 18:10 (0d, 1h 31min ago)

 http://www.marinetraffic.com/ais/shipdetails.aspx?MMSI=368684000


I must be a gypsy too.  I find it very provactive-positive-if -travel-equals-life-affirming- in- love-with-this-life-erotic-on-the-highest-love-not-romantic-or-sexual-level-all-the-highest-potential-sea-water-mystery-loving-journey....the Jypsy's Journey to the far East on a massive ship. 

My degrees of measure on this trip have been less.  What if my first 42 degrees of writing burned away all obsessive feelings and healed me.  So now I am a calm -waiting, but not a desiring, sad, or even compulsive female pulsing with the other's energy.  I have returned to my aware self- glad of myself- and of the Other, the mystery, how life is in the here and now.  

I have a friend who travels to the far east and works extremely hard for 42 days.  That is the end of the story and thus my degree of burning seems low and almost to have no fire...but here is the good part.  

The fire is that quiet and deep heat-  a penetrating ember of fire -the underneath red glow, it doesn't really smoke, crackle or jump high in the air.  It is the low Earthy pulsing kind.  
When you close the wood burning stove...after the fire has really taken off and it is hot and the logs are half burnt which makes the heat form...and you lock it in...cut off almost all air...down to the point where there is just enough to make the heat of the embers last a long, long time.   It heats the whole house, sometimes the tile around the stove is so hot you cannot even step on it It even appears that the fire is not moving, but it it is...
I am the starter of this fire, the sustainer, the reaper, the keeper....I just need an Other(a water gypsy-kind) sometimes to ignite It once in awhile. 

Friday, December 7, 2012

18 Degrees of Fire: The 7th Day of December Flame

http://www.wallpowper.com/pheonix-bird-phoenix-of-fire-38843.html

17 Degrees of Fire: The 7th Day of December Flame  

17 days of 42 


What fire was I born from?  
What degree does love burn?  

What fire was igniting in the 

souls that conceived me?  

they stoked their own fire within

they were beauty
life had not burned them yet

What fire was I born from 

there have been a million 
births and deaths
ash, embers and flame
a constant rhythm of 
transformation 

What fire shall I need from now on?


I do not even recognize the my 
flame of youth it has been ashes for so long

now only a slow ember that is stable, 
sustaining, intense and loving

  the serpent ever hidden
is waking 


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

15 Degrees of Fire: A Matchbox Ignites


15/14 Days of 42

15 Degrees of Fire: A Matchbox Ignites

“Each of us is born with a box of matches inside us but we can't strike them all by ourselves; we need oxygen and a candle to help. In this case, the oxygen for example, would come from the breath of the person you love; the candle would be any kind of food, music, caress, word, or sound that engenders the explosion that lights one of the matches. For a moment we are dazzled by an intense emotion. A pleasant warmth grows within us, fading slowly as time goes by, until a new explosion comes along to revive it. Each person has to discover what will set off those explosions in order to live, since the combustion that occurs when one of them is ignited is what nourishes the soul. That fire, in short, is its food. If one doesn't find out in time what will set off these explosions, the box of matches dampens, and not a single match will ever be lighted.

*Dr. John Brown - Like Water for Chocolate”

Laura Esquivel



 Maybe one match ignites the others, or maybe there are one of those that have little explosions.  It could be a case where you had a certain amount of continuous explosions. 

I think in the end our match books and the things that ignite them must be similar if we are to find a significant other who will sustain a constant burning.  Now burning has so many aspects.  There is smoldering, embers, inferno, and sparks.  Each has chemistry, mystery and need wrapped up in it.  Each has to burn something so that smoke rises to heaven, and ash is left to be witness and to replenish that material that will soon ignite again. 


At whatever dimensions you have been burned by life, both good and bad, will probably be the qualities that one seeks in the other, as in lover.  Whenever I express my definition of lover, it always bleeds outside the boundaries of the usual.  A lover is the other that reflects you and or provokes you to move, to be inspired or cares.  This widens the usual definition which usually only allows for the romantic lover.  I am absolutely blessed to have so many lovers, that is people who I have been in love with(not romantic).  Not only does a person become a lover, but also a game or activity can be like a lover.  If a game and activity fires you up, pushes you beyond your limits or inspires you to be more engaged in the world, then it might be equal to a lover.  I am not talking about the fan, but the participant.  I have had the luxury of being the player and the coach.  Being in love with something makes you want to share it or teach it to everyone.  True love makes a person explode out into the universe so that they can hardly contain themselves.  Most people who feel real fire will not judge or limit themselves or the other in their expression of this emotion.  Thus good lovers are the ones that are hurt the most.  But them seem to be fools for the burn.


Sometimes life feels to burn you in a hurtful way.  Yet does that burning shift you some how.  My friend, the Jypsy, talks about one accident he experienced that made everything change.  While he was in the middle of this terrible ordeal, it probably felt like he was being burned by the power of the universe.  The thing that burned me the most was the death of my father.  I sometimes think it completely destroyed me, and I had to rebuild myself.  It scarred me so deeply, yet it also awakened me more than anything else in my life.  It seems that burning goes is waves.  The ocean of burning goes from a ember to an inferno.  As you become more balance the waves may only roll, yet it is nice when they are burning bright. 


Sometimes you need to hide the match.  Many matches have been ignited in the match book, but then dampness sets in and then the flame goes out.  Some hold the ember of a lost love, and it is not romantic always.  Being in love is authentic.  Loving someone because it is obligation is a shallow level.  I sometimes think that insecure hearts are only able love with conditions.  They have been deeply betrayed by love, thus they are no longer capable of being "in love."  They easy betray the love they once had, or the fire that you thought the person had for you was really nothing at all.  There really never was an explosion.  I don't know which is worse, a flame that goes out, or an explosion that never really happened. 


When I say I was lucky throughout my life, it is because I was taught to explode with fire so early.  There is one soul who was made to ignite, and shall burn for me if I asked her to.  That means if it came down to life and death and I had to choose the person who would walk through fire for me, it would be her.  She is a relative.  I am not going to label her because so many would determine this kind of condition because it seems the norm.  I am not sure if most people have someone who would walk through fire for them.  The most important part is that burn you feel when you have a relationship with someone like this.  It is an intensity that is a constant exploding phenomena.  Sometimes their will/flame is so strong that you are consumed by the good and negative aspects of that person.  It is hard when this person is mostly positive. 


My latest meeting has been a explosion of the unexpected kind.  Sometimes you forget what it feels like to burn.  When life floods your romantic matches with failure, disappointment and struggle, you just let go of the fire that once inspired you.  Since I do have other fires to keep me going, the romantic type of burning is a welcome change.  I do believe other fires are significant and equal to romantic types of burning, but there is an unusual dynamic with the opposite or lover.  There is a type of intimacy that is so needed at times.  It is not just the act of love, but all the aspects that intrigue me.  I think being in the presence of someone who is feeling pleasure, emotion and becomes less of his ego is something rare and special.(This goes both ways) Many people say that the vehicle that our spirit lives in is corrupt or not worthy.  I do not believe this.  The closest I have ever felt to God was using my body, mind and soul after an extreme amount of discipline. It was highly technical strategic sport.  Something equivalent to martial arts.  If it is possible for two souls to unite under the right intention and with full awareness, then it is something that can release our hold on reality.  I am assuming the ego is our hold on reality.  This can be an attachment to our identities.  Sometimes this hold on our identity takes up so much energy, there is no place for us to grow or shift.  We stay in our ego-based world only allowing what fits into our worldview.  If we can release this hold by meditation, loving acts, serving others and or devotion to prayer and or mystic practices, then we might shift ourselves out of the stagnant ego view of the world.  The union between two souls is a powerful explosion.  If the chemistry is right, the spirit centered and the intention pure, then it could light up the world like the sun. 


The best part of the burning, letting the matches ignite and explode is time will be consumed.  It is no easy task to burn time.  In the latest meeting where I feel a unique burn, time does not matter.  That is if I died tomorrow, I am creative today.  An ember is burning hot right now, and it is melting all results, expectations and those petty things that time tries to hang over us.  If I burned right out, and was no more, then so be it.  If the burning ends in six months or a year or two, there is quality if we both are coming to the fire with pure intentions.  To get to know a unique, shattered, redeemed caring soul is good.  To be known is also significant.  The past and future are burned into ash and only the flame exist now.