Saturday, May 25, 2013

42 Degrees of Fire: The Eternal Embers


  1. The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture,...: "the art of the Renaissance"
  2. Works produced by such skill and imagination.                           (

The question: does a muse ever truly disappear from the inspired?  Why can we not view our relationships as art?  How long does it take to mix the colors and find the right hues for a masterpiece, a rare mysterious arrangement of colors that is completely original.?   I write so many ideas down to examine how I feel, what I think and maybe how I project my own imagination onto a canvas.  Yet how did I get that imagination to come forth? I needed a mirror.  My friend, the Jypsy, was that mirror for a short time.  I created something from nothing.  I was intensely aware of his nature for a short time or was it really my nature?   

The attention of the other provokes something within us, especially if it is directed with good intentions.  I think underneath all of our fears and past experiences dwells our souls with an intense longing to express itself.  The soul is a hidden charmed intelligence that bears all, yet is so unknown to our everyday lives.  Sometimes it is hard to figure out what comes from our souls and what comes from the external expectations. 

I feel most aligned when I am inspired and I feel it is a gift when someone comes along and provokes my imagination.  When I think of 42 degrees I  think of a sphere.  If our paths are not really linear, then this might work.  I feel I have entered a new circular path, a sort of spiraling.  When I think of the entire meeting and how it seemed as if we stepped into a sphere that was already there pulsing with its own energy.  We were the creators.  The nature of everything was good like we were traveling on a particular pattern of energy.  I hope I am not so naive to think he was true.  The strange thing is that it really doesn't matter.  The only thing I can be sure of is my experience of it.  

  Before this path was born, I was in a long relationship and for 12 years I devoted myself to this commitment.  This was one complete circle, one sphere.  A 360 degrees of burning and it moved out in all directions to fill up the volume of that circle.  It might have burned too many things down. As I start my new spiraling path, the old one wants to merge into it. Maybe spheres overlap.  I have reached 42 degrees on my new path, and these are a different kind of burning. If you can picture a circle and that I traveled 42 degrees around, but I did not stay only on the line...I went inside the sphere, exploring the depths of that energy and nature.  The sphere is ultimately myself and or the other.  I am not sure how it works exactly, but that world is complex and dynamic.  You cannot stand on the edge and look into a world.  You must dive and or sail through the entire adventure. I explored islands, tempests and monsters all along the way.  In the evolution of this journey is where the sailor and I merge and poetry- art is born. 

So when these 42 degrees began, degree by degree my imagination and inspiration took flight.  While I allowed my nature to rise again like a phoenix, I began to know myself again.  I was provoked by a male and or I projected things outward.  I needed him exactly at this precise time on my path to shift, to remember, to see myself through a mirror.  I had to listen and do the work.  He was a reflection and a gift. 

 I don't believe in accidents.  The charm of this union was especially pure at the start.  The ending maybe not so much, but the fires sometimes die out and we push beyond what is right-Buddha right.  Buddha right- is not a moral right, but a spirit right.  It is one hard to master because of our external influences. 

I believe that life is so much more than what appears in front of us.  This meeting however brief or long, was a mystery as is each encounter.  I could dwell on its fading or ending but it is not creative to do that.  I have many musings about it on this blog and I am glad of this.  If we could live by inspiration, imagination, creative endeavors, being each others muse maybe our relationships would be different. We could release them easier.  I am not even saying that I want it to return because it is not the truth.  If the intention is pure all will burn bright and true.  

The mysterious igniting and chemistry that brings two people together is like art.  If the timing and approach is right as in a Buddha's right action, then the world that is born from two souls can transform, heal and take on different shapes.   What I mean by shapes is that we have this one prevailing idea about souls meeting, especially romantically.  This one procreation-ideology might need to shift to allow for a more spiritual idea, thus more shapes. Maybe more of an artistic idea.  I hope my expressions here captures just a couple of degrees of my experience in the last 7 months.  

When I write poetry it feels like I keep an ember burning for those that touch me somehow.  Some of my greatest loves like my father, who has passed on,  inspired me so even when I felt lost.  Some part of me still burns brightly like a pulse with a certain rhythm formed from that one love.  A poet's heart is hard to stop especially when a kindred spirit holds up a mirror. The embers burn eternally in a poet's heart, sometimes foolishly, but always deeply. 

Peter Gabriel- I Love to be Loved